christopher gutierrez

Writer. Author. Publisher.

Deadxstop.com

Always the shortest dude in the room. Warped tour 2006. #fbf

Always the shortest dude in the room. Warped tour 2006. #fbf

Tim showing us what parts to scream on “Give It All.” Recording backing vox with @riseagainst - 2004. #fbf

Tim showing us what parts to scream on “Give It All.” Recording backing vox with @riseagainst - 2004. #fbf

On tour somewhere in Ohio. 2005. @travielazarus @siskybusiness #fbf

On tour somewhere in Ohio. 2005. @travielazarus @siskybusiness #fbf

Just found a shit ton of old pics in the back of a drawer. Warped tour 2004. #fbf

Just found a shit ton of old pics in the back of a drawer. Warped tour 2004. #fbf

Early 2005. Sushi in San Francisco with @travielazarus and @siskybusiness #fbf

Early 2005. Sushi in San Francisco with @travielazarus and @siskybusiness #fbf

Deadxstop.com

Deadxstop.com

Cat whisperer.

Cat whisperer.

What I believe is the greatest writing I’ve ever done. Available at: Deadxstop.com

What I believe is the greatest writing I’ve ever done. Available at: Deadxstop.com

He thinks about you.

Maybe because it’s late and maybe it’s because it’s a warm summer night and nights like these remind me of the souls of my past but I just wanted to let you know something important. He thinks about you. 

Maybe not every day. Maybe not in the ways you want him to, but you’re still on his mind. If you believe that even for a second, you made an impression on him, that you made him think differently, that you changed his perceptions of love and relationships - he thinks about you. 

Maybe it’s the taste of cinnamon toast crunch, or the smell of clean laundry, or the line in that song that you sung together that night while driving with the windows down and the humidity blasting in your face. It reminds him of you. Whether he likes it or not. And there is a part of him that misses you. Because if you have done a good job at loving him, he can’t shake you no matter how many times he ignores your texts. 

Maybe he tries to convince the world that he’s moved on. That he found someone new. That he doesn’t care about you or your life or your future… but he does. And maybe he doesn’t lurk your shit (he does), but he cares. Because if you’re someone who believes they don’t deserve love - you are cursed to remember all the people who tried to make you see what they see. The things you wish you could see in yourself - you remember all the ones who believed in you even when you never could no matter how hard you tried. 


If you ever loved anyone good, hard, and well - they think about you. 
Often.
And they want nothing more than the best for you. 
Which is usually why they left. 
Because they couldn’t stand to see someone they cared about more than themselves continue to fight a battle they could never win.