February 2012
5 posts
episode #51 of my podcast - the deep end.
Over a year ago I got a bug up my ass and jumped on the podcast bandwagon. As of Sunday, I have recorded 51 episodes. Recording my podcast every week has become something of a ritual for me. I save rants that I would normally go about barfing all over my blog for the broadcast. Which has left my little blog a little, well, barren. So apologies for any of you who continue to look forward to my...
Well, I said I would.
episode 50 of the deep end podcast
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD OR STREAM
subscribe on iTunes for free.
My podcasts sponsored by adamandeve.com. If you click this link or enter ‘DEEPEND’ when checking out you get 50% off most items, 3 free dvd porns AND free shipping. It comes in plan white wrapping so your mom wont know you spent your lunch money on a new vibrator.
January 2012
39 posts
"Are you for real killing me right now?"
Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized
# 100.
“So, after a series of terrible dates, my roommate decided that I would become his new ‘date doctor’. After 2 hours of expounding advice, he was perplexed as to where I was getting this stuff and how I was so right.
He told me to teach him my ways, and all I did was hold up The Little Things and say ‘First, you gotta get The Bible.’ Now he’s ordering it from...
And to celebrate 1,000 tumblr followers, I will...
Kinda. Lemme splain.
30 days ago I came up with the idea to go vegan for one of my monthly challenges. Ok, that’s a lie. I thought of this the moment I began giving myself monthly challenges only I was too much of a pussy to try until now. I only messed up once with a taco seasoning that had whey, otherwise, can I tell you how fucking easy this was? I posted about this earlier in the month...
episode 49 of my podcast 'the deep end'
Apologies for the technical difficulties on this one. The audio sounds a bit crappy because I had to salvage it from a video and re-edit everything and it took me 2 hours so don’t yell at me. Next week will be back to “normal.” A term I use loosely.
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD OR STREAM
or subscribe on iTunes for free.
My podcasts sponsored by adamandeve.com. If you click this...
to clarify my last statement.
Got the facebooks abuzz with comments, which is what happens when you draw a line in the sand. So, to be fair, I will add my clarifications below:
It’s poser shit and telling of someone’s lack of character. Do what you like but when I spend $30 or more to see you perform your art and you can’t remember words, cut your set short, or butcher my experience you fail at your job as...
fucking posers.
I have no respect for performers who need to have a drink before they go on to “take the edge off.” This is your art. Your job is to make us feel it. The elation, the sadness and depression, the anxiety - all of it. But when you’re up there as a numbed down version of yourself you are cheating yourself, the audience, and the art.
If you can’t be up there without a pill or...
because books and soap make for awesome...
First I was all, “Swing life away.”…
Then I was all, “BUY CHRIS’ NEW BOOK!”
Buy my book now (or soap) now and get it in time for stupid Valentine’s day.
CLICK ME FOR BOOKS.
CLICK ME FOR SOAPS.
My Rosebud.
.
I’m sure I was a tough kid to buy for. I think my single mom spent far too much on me for holidays trying to make up for the time she spent working two jobs while putting herself through school. But even as a spoiled kid, there was only so much I would want each year. I guess that is one of the benefits growing up in a house where we didn’t have all that much - you never really...
“If you stick a knife in my back nine inches and pull it out six inches, that’s...”
– Malcolm X (via ladyatheist)
My podcast in 3 minutes and 58 seconds.
episode 48 of my podcast 'the deep end'
Click this to download or stream.
Or subscribe on iTunes for free.
My podcasts sponsored by adamandeve.com. If you click this link or enter ‘DEEPEND’ when checking out you get 50% off most items, 3 free dvd porns AND free shipping. It comes in plan white wrapping so your mom wont know you spent your lunch money on a new vibrator.
damaged and unbreakable.
On occasion, there are people out there who will pay us compliments. Some more than others but I would assume most of us know what it’s like to be envied, if even for a moment, for being intelligent or creative or talented or pretty or insightful. Someone along the line has paid you a compliment and if you’re like me, you didn’t know how to take it. The words made us...
Limited run of soap available again.
10oz. Ultra-concentrated. Vegan-friendly / no animal ingredients.
No Alcohol. No Mineral Oil. No Sodium Laryl Sulfate. Hypo-Allergenic. 2 year shelf life.
Available individually, as a two pack, or three pack.
Click here for ordering.
“When I was 18 I wanted to fuck on the floor and break shit. When I was 25 I...”
– Sylvia Plath (via sugarsickness)
Video preview of my podcast 'The Deep End'
Have you ever been slightly curious as to what I talk about on my podcasts but you’re too lazy to dedicate an hour to listening every week? Well, here’s a quick rant of pretty much what you’ve been missing.
Subscribe for free on iTunes. Search: The Deep End with Christopher Gutierrez
Making vaginas happy.
Since stupid Valentine’s Day is less than a month away and you don’t want to be the person who neglected to buy a present for someone, if you buy my new lil book The Little Things - 100 ways to make a woman feel loved, this week it should arrive in your grubby mitts just in time.
“But Chris, I don’t need that book!”
Of course you don’t. You’re one...
the "HEY CHRIS" top 8 fall out boy songs.
Writing a “best of” list of Fall Out Boy songs is an impossibility for me. There is no possible way I can separate my emotions and personal connections enough to be objective. Songs inspired by friends, people I love, some I loathe combined with watching that baby take it’s first steps practically imbeds these songs in my head and heart whether I want them there or not.
People...
as if i needed more reasons to buy girl scout...
the top 5 records of 2011.
Childish Gambino - Camp/EP
Out of all the records that came out this year, both of these dominated my playlist. All of the elements of good flow along with super witty and intelligent hip hop without all the bullshit posturing and posing. Plenty of hip references to things like Tumblr, the movie Amelie and Pete wentz to keep the LOLz rolling all while injecting a sincere vulnerability that is...
episode 47 of my podcast: the deep end
Click here to download or stream for free.
my podcasts sponsored by adamandeve.com who have given me this crazy offer if i advertise for them on my podcast. if you click this link or enter ‘DEEPEND’ when checking out you get 50% off most items, 3 free dvd porns AND free shipping. that shit is practically free. and it comes in plan white wrapping so your mom wont know you spent your...
“There are only three things to be done with a woman. You can love her, suffer...”
– Henry Miller (via theplagiaristblog)
Just a lil life update.
I’ve been feeling extra ranty lately. I wonder if it has to anything to do with this vegan stuff that I’m doing. I have been taking vitamin B12 supplements because word is, apparently all vegans will die from a lack of B12. But then I did some research only to find that meat eaters store enough B12 in their livers for years so 30 days isn’t going to hurt anyone. But I take the...
episode 46 of my podcast 'the deep end'
click here to download or stream my podcast for free.
my podcasts sponsored by adamandeve.com who have given me this crazy offer if i advertise for them on my podcast. if you click this link or enter ‘DEEPEND’ when checking out you get 50% off most items, 3 free dvd porns AND free shipping. that shit is practically free. and it comes in plan white wrapping so your mom wont know you...
Gpoy
GPOY
1 tag
The meat-eating vegan.
So as you may or may not know I do these 30 day challenges where I try something that forces me outside my comfort zone for, well, 30 days. The only way to become a more well-rounded and enlightened person is to challenge yourself so I attempt to do just that every month. This month I decided to eat vegan for 30 days. No cheating, no honey, no secret cheese on anything because the only person I...
how to get these out-of-print books for $5
I have one hardcover copy of The Direction Of Home that got sent back to me and a copy of Keltie Colleen’s book Rockettes, Rockstars and Rockbottom - both completely sold out, out-of-print and will not be printed again. Instead of putting them on Ebay and asking you to spend ridiculous money, I figured why not sell raffle tickets for $5. I mean, you know not a lot of people will enter so you...
one of the greatest songs ever written.
episode 45 of my podcast 'the deep end'
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD OR STREAM
my podcasts sponsored by adamandeve.com who have given me this crazy offer if i advertise for them on my podcast. if you click this link or enter ‘DEEPEND’ when checking out you get 50% off most items, 3 free dvd porns AND free shipping. that shit is practically free. and it comes in plan white wrapping so your mom wont know you spent your lunch money...
why sex is not love.
Since when is sex the “ultimate” form of love and why do we all just take this as gospel?
The foundation of the sexually repressed argument is that we shouldn’t “sleep around” because sex is losing its meaning. And why does it have a universal meaning, as in, when did we all agree that sex is the absolute pinnacle of a demonstration of love?
The more that I think...
December 2011
28 posts
“I will stand with anyone, I don’t care what color you are, as long as you want...”
– Malcolm X (via sirmitchell
)
a little commercial break in-between rants.
According to the FedEx tracking numbers, my new book The Little Things should be arriving tomorrow which means if it comes in early enough they will be in the mail tomorrow or Saturday and Monday at the latest. So if you’ve been putting off supporting your favorite loud-mouthed writer, take that money your mee-ma gave you for the holidays and order that shit now and you can have my new lil...
Why cuddling is better than sex.
Through all of my mis-adventures with internet dating, I have learned that a vast majority of women love to cuddle. It’s like a litmus test women like to throw out there to see if it sends men running. For the record, I love cuddling. I have and continue to cuddle the shit out of some girls. That being said, the idea of cuddling a stranger is utterly repulsive to me - and only now do I...
